Hello This Is Your Past Speaking
by Kai.Lynn.Sledge
Summary: Jasper loses a bet to Emmett and has to prank call the Volturi. But instead of Aro answering a giggling girl does. They recognize the voice as Bella's but that would be impossible. Bella isn't a vampire but turns out that she is the newest guard member.
1. Chapter 1

**DC: I don't own twilight…sadness**

**Jasper loses a bet to Emmett and has to prank call the Volturi. But instead of Aro answering a giggling girl does. They recognize the voice as Bella's but that would be impossible. Bella isn't a vampire but it turns out that she is the newest guard member**.

**EPOV**

"WHOO! YEA BABY! Suck on that motherfucker!"

The telltale signs of Emmett's victory started up. He gave a yelp when Esme whapped him up side the head but that's just normal.

_Two hours of shopping says Emmett won something perverted._

I sniggered into my hand at Carlisle's thoughts. He glanced over at me with a smile. We were currently sitting in the living room watching Emmett dance around the room laughing and cheering. Jasper sat in the middle of the floor groaning. Rosalie was smiling indulgently at her husband while Alice was trying to console hers. Esme was watching Emmett with hawk-like intensity waiting for his tongue to slip again. Carlisle and I were on the couch.

"So what did Jasper lose this time?" I asked him. He shrugged and gestured to Esme.

"Emmett bet that Jasper wouldn't be able to last if Emmett started lusting after Rose. Within the first ten minutes he grabbed Alice and ran upstairs," she explained to us.

"Ahh," we both said at the same time.

"So what does he have to do?" Carlisle asked.

"I have to prank call the Volturi! I mean I thought I could win. What do you do to him to make him that horny Rose?" Jasper exclaimed finally looking up. I shuddered at the thoughts running through both her and Emmett's mind. Jasper caught it and held up his hand when Rose opened her mouth.

"Forget I even asked Rosalie." We all laughed at his expression.

"Okay! Here's the phone!" Emmett practically giggled as he set a normal old fashioned telephone in front of Jasper. He sighed and picked it up. It rang twice before a person picked up.

"Hello. You have reached the Volturi. How may we help you today?" the woman had a pleasant enough voice.

"Yes. May I speak with Aro?" Jasper said clearing his throat nervously. We were all stifling laughter.

"Ok one moment please." The phone started playing what sounded like elevator music. After a minute it rang again. Jasper looked ready to bolt when Aro picked up. The voice of a giggling girl came over the speaker.

"Stop it master! I'm trying to answer a call for you!" she was almost shrieking with laughter.

"I'm so sorry for that," she said after gaining control of herself. Her voice was all business but strangely familiar too.

"Yes…umm…well my name is…umm…" Jasper couldn't stop stuttering. There was a sharp intake of breath from the other side.

"I'm sorry but I'll have to give the phone to Aro now," the girl practically whispered. Carlisle motioned for the phone.

"Aro?" he asked into the receiver.

"Carlisle! My good friend! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh my boys were trying to prank call you but I stopped them," he lied winking at jasper. Jazz sighed with relief.

"Ah. Well they are but children to us. So how are you my boy?"

"Good good. I was wondering who it was that answered the phone before you, could you tell me her name?" Carlisle was burning with curiosity but so were we.

"That," Aro started proudly, "is our most recent guard member. Her name is Bella Swan. She is actually a human but her gift is so strong that it's already showing itself! Amazing isn't it?...Carlisle? Carlisle?" but he had dropped the phone. We all stared at each other

"Impossible."

**Howdy howdy! Well as you know I just added a bunch of stories. Lol I'm trying to write a chapter for each story once a week. No guarantees! Read and review! Reviews will make me update faster! Can I get ten please?**


	2. Authors note

***Cowers behind Emmett* I'M SORRY! PLEASE PUT DOWN ALL SHARP AND/OR BURNING OBJECTS! Ok so I officially suck right? Well I've put up two different polls on my profile and would appreciate it if you would look at them! Btw when the polls are done this note will be taken out of my stories. Thanxz!**


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